The Book That Ruined My Life

DO NOT! I repeat, DO NOT read the book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, by Marie Kondo. It is life changing, but not in a good way. The book was inspiring and had so many great points and tips in it (along with a few weird things), that I decided to dive right in and de-clutter. Yes, I have gotten rid of car load after car load of junk. Yes, I feel so good when I look at the uncluttered spaces in my house. But NO, I do not like that I am still in a state of upset as I move from one project to another. For example, in the process of going through the kids toys and clothes we decided to move rooms. We put William and Anna in the same room (since neither of them like to sleep alone) with just their books and clothes in there (thanks Whitney for that tip) and then made one of the bedrooms their play room. In the new play room there is a huge closet that I thought would make a perfect room for all of Anna’s princess and girl stuff. However the closet/room had some drywall work to do and so I have been mudding and taping and sanding, and now I have to prime and paint. What was supposed to be a smallish job turned into a huge one! And all the things that go in that closet/room are still sitting out in the toy room. Furthermore, it is the time of year when I update our food storage and put our emergency preparedness in order since there are great sales right now (camping and food storage items) so I have project upon project piling up to suffocate me! All of our food stores that were once in our garage are now being moved into the vacated storage room that used to house all of the kids little used toys. Saddest of all, I was excited for the long winter months that I could use to populate my recipe index on my blog like I did last year. Instead I have been slaving away, tidying my house. I long for days when I don’t have big, huge projects hanging over my head! So for now I say, I wish I had never read the darn book. Evidently, I’m not alone. A friend of mine in my book club sent me this review she read about the book:

I know this book is quickly making waves among most literary groups, or anyone who owns more than one possession, which is the majority of North America. So I thought this group would appreciate this comprehensive review on Goodreads of the book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up. I have this book on my to-read list for January, but she has made me rethink my plans. I now need to meet this woman, I think we were meant to be good friends, even if I do find joy in a good vegetable peeler.

“There is no rating low enough to compensate for the way this book has ruined my life. Whatever you do, don’t read it as it will haunt you. This is a long review but it behooves you to stick with it.

To begin, you have to touch each and every possession and ask yourself if it brings you joy. If it doesn’t, it needs to be discarded. Do you know how hard it is to summon joy for beige underwear or Neosporin? Yet summon you must. I like my carrot peeler but is joy too strong a word?

It gets tougher. Not only must you “apply hands” to every piece of clothing while checking for your joy response, you must fold your clothes in very specific ways in order to find each piece’s “sweet spot”. I never knew that “Every piece of clothing has it’s own ‘sweet spot’ where it feels just right”. This will lead to an historical moment when “your mind and the piece of clothing connect.” Don’t forget to thank your clothes for protecting your body. Thank your accessories for making you beautiful. “Express your appreciation to every item that supported you during the day.”

Never, never “ball up your socks” as they can’t get their much deserved rest that way. They need to breathe a sigh of relief. You must visit your off season clothes to “let them know you care and look forward to wearing them when they’re next in season. This kind of communication helps your clothes stay vibrant and keeps your relationship with them alive longer.”

Everything must be stored standing up rather than laid flat. “Stacking weakens and exhausts the things that bear the weight of the pile. Just imagine how you would feel if you were forced to carry a heavy load for hours?”

You must empty your hand bag every day.”Being packed all the time, even when not in use, must feel something like going to bed with a full stomach.” When you get a new phone, it is kind to text your old one with a message of thanks for its service.

Every single thing must be in its assigned place before you go to bed.” Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have no fixed address?” It is equally important for our possessions to have “that assurance that there is a place for them to return to.”

If we greet our house properly it will ” be happy to tell me what the family no longer needs and where to put the things remaining so that the family can be comfortable and happy in this space.” Not sure if you do this before or after applying hands and checking your joy response. It did come near the end of the book, if that helps.

So what do the things that get discarded for not sparking joy feel? “I think they simply want to leave. Lying forgotten in the closet, they know better than anyone else that they are not bringing you joy.”

The people who tidy as this book recommend experience a change in their appearance. “Their figures are more streamlined, their skin is more radiant, and their eyes shine brighter.”

Unfortunately, my eyes are crossed, I’ve gained 10 pounds, and I feel hives ready to pop. I had no idea when I picked up this pretty little book that it was going to necessitate my search for a live-in psychiatrist. I had NO freaking idea that I was squashing the self-esteem of my possessions. I can NOT find those folding sweet spots and everything in my drawers is in a mosh pit. My hand bag looks sad every time I walk by its nightly fullness. My socks are falling down. I’m not sure why. I hate the word joy now. I’m sleep deprived. My possessions call out to me for help but I don’t know if they want me to summon joy or if they want to leave. The other day my husband heard me thanking my underwear for staying up all day. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be married.” – Diane

I’m laughing and crying re-reading this review. Maybe in a few months I will be grateful. We’ll see…

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