Marriage

Girl-Cheese Sandwiches

January 17, 2015 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

A conversation we had tonight over dinner went like this:

William: So does “Mankind” mean just a lot of men?”
Me: No, it means all men and women. In fact, some women are bothered that it is called “Mankind” because it doesn’t sound like it includes women.
Anna: Do boys ever feel left out because we eat girl-cheese sandwiches?
Me: (Laughing) They are actually called grilled cheese sandwiches, not girl cheese sandwiches.

The Canary in the Coal Mine

November 4, 2014 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago I mentioned to Grant that I felt like we needed to refocus on our relationship and spend some quality time. He had been very busy and pulled in a thousand directions and so had I. He agreed and with gratitude said that I was like the canary used in coal mines. The canary detected harmful levels of methane or carbon monoxide. Sadly, the super-sensitive canary died when things got too toxic. Thankfully at that point the level wasn’t deadly for the humans…yet. I thought the connection he made was nice. I thought Grant’s willingness to make changes even nicer. The fact that I don’t die when things get a little busy, I thought the nicest of all.

Anna’s Dream Man and Mine

October 20, 2014 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

In the car Anna was wondering who she will marry some day. I asked her what she was looking for in a husband (remember she is four). This is her list, in order:

1) Smart

2) He has to be the Bishop

3) Funny

4) He has to play in the backyard with the children

5) He has to take her out to eat

Our children learn so much about what they want by what they see. I would say that in this list she included things she sees in her Dad and things that she sees that are important to me. (eating out)

Dad and Sheri have been staying with us for the past three weeks as they prepare for their mission. It has been SO WONDERFUL! What a unique and memorable time to share with them. Today was their farewell address at church which was great, then a dinner for family and friends, then their setting apart. The stake president came over here and we had a little devotional where we all talked about what qualities Dad and Sheri have that will make them great missionaries. Then Dad and Sheri bore testimony of the importance of what they are doing. I felt the spirit of the Lord so strongly as we shared our feelings. Sheri talked about how she felt that there are angels all around us, helping us. Dad talked about how he knows there is a loving Heavenly Father who listens and cares. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that my children could be surrounded, enveloped with the peace that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings. I am grateful for their example of service and sacrifice. I also felt so excited as Grant and I sat together holding hands that we will be able to walk through all the phases of our life together. I love being parents together, I look forward to being missionaries together, grandparents… I don’t feel like I mind what the future brings for us as long as we are together.

Gramma and Grampa Z at their missionary farewell

15 Years

May 19, 2014 by candicebeckwith 2 Comments

We had the most wonderful trip to the Columbia River Gorge to celebrate our 15th Anniversary and Grant’s 40th Birthday! I was in love with the water, greenery, rocks, trails, perfect weather, food, rest, time to read, but best of all the time with my amazing, wonderful husband of my heart.

In the three-and-a-half days we went on four hikes, I read two books while Grant attended some meetings with the school heads, we slept in, we relaxed in a hot tub overlooking the Columbia river with the rain lightly falling on us. We had delicious food including a brunch that was THE BEST brunch I have ever had where we ate for two hours. I got a massage during another of Grant’s meetings. We got onion rings and a milkshake after a hike just because they sounded good and we felt like it. We had so much time to talk and relax and slow down. We felt ready to come back to our children, lessons, work, callings in the church, house, yard, end of school demands, recitals, exams, projects…

I am SO THANKFUL for the Saxey’s for taking our children for the time we were gone. What amazing friends we have. Really and truly. Not to mention a kind sister who takes care of our farm.

Besides the trip I am feeling grateful for such an amazing 15 years with Grant. On our anniversary he said our nighttime prayer. It went like this:

“Dear Heavenly Father,

We are thankful for 15 wonderful years together. We ask thee to bless us with fifteen million more.”

To which I say, “AAAMENN!!”

We have known each other since 1995. In three more years I will have known Grant for the majority of my life. I was 20 when we met, he was 21. I feel like I have never not known him. I love that we can finish each others sentences and that we voice the same thought at the same time so often. I love being quiet with him and our long talks. I love that we compliment each other so well in so many ways. I love that we are growing more alike as we age. I love the deeper love and commitment that we feel as we sacrifice together. I love the bond we feel as parents of our four wonderful children even though we are such different kinds of parents. I love that I can advise our daughters to marry a man like their father and encourage our sons to be like him. I am grateful that he is constantly trying to help me be kind to myself and forgiving of my own weakness. (Why is this so hard?!?) I love his unwavering faith in a loving Father in Heaven and his deep and personal understanding of what the atonement of Jesus Christ means for him and for each of us, how it has a daily, hourly, influence on our lives and that we are good enough because of it and nothing without it. I love that he is willing to fight for important things even if it means less money, opposition, even persecution.

I love him for his selfless service as the Bishop of our church congregation. He puts in so many long hours at church and at work yet somehow has time for our family and for me. I can feel the Lord’s hand in this as he touches our life each day with tender mercies and feelings of patience and love for one another and others.

I love him for how handsome he is – shallow, I know, but he is aging so gracefully! Last weekend there was a Latter-day learning conference at the school for the community. There were many speakers on various education topics. Grant was one of the speakers. Each participant was given a booklet on the days’ events and class offerings. A friend of mine told me of a conversation she overheard at the end of the class prior to Grant’s. Two women were looking at the bio’s of the next class instructors and after seeing the picture of Grant said, “This guy looks just like Prince Charming! Let’s go to his class!” I would have to agree!

I could say so much more, like that he is a hard worker, a great parent, a great basketball player and ballroom dancer, a good house cleaner, a pretty good chess player (I’m better), a man of faith, he has a wonderful humor and ability to laugh at himself when appropriate, a wonderful perspective… oh my… I better end since it is nearly midnight. One last thing though regarding his 40th birthday. I was talking to William about how fast he is growing up and that he his now (unbelievably) SEVEN, but that I will always feel like he is my little baby. He was expressing his own incredulity at how fast his dad is growing up with this statement, “He is getting to the age where he is getting old, wrinkly skin and will soon be 50 and the age of a grandpa! Sam and I were talking about how we were sad when dad grew up (turned 40). I wish he was still 39. He is just so nice, wealthy and talented.” (The wealthy part is based on many conversations we have with the children when they ask us if we are rich. We say yes as we have a comfortable home, enough to eat, clothes on our back, the gospel of Jesus Christ and love for one another.)

So to Grant I say, “Here’s to 15 million more years together (a.k.a Eternity). Thank you for your 40 years of being great. I look forward to getting ‘old, wrinkly skin’ together.” I love you. I love you. I love you.

15 Years Ago

February 17, 2014 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

Although I already posted something tonight I wanted to give this thought it’s own title. 15 years ago this weekend Grant and I became engaged to be married and had our first kiss. I feel grateful every day for the decision we made to be married. That kiss was awesome too!

Strengthening Ourselves for Our Day

January 6, 2014 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

The following is Grant’s article to the school community. I would recommend that we all take a moment to read it. It is very helpful with some of the questions and concerns we might have with some of the social issues of our day.

In June of 1962, the Supreme Court of the United States decided that New York public school officials could not prescribe a prayer to be offered at the beginning of public school classes.1 This decision came as a shock to religiously oriented people nationwide.

Public reactions to the Supreme Court’s decision were divided, ranging from quiet elation by supporters to civil disobedience by many school administrators and teachers.2 Six months later, a concerned LDS Church President David O. McKay said: “By making that [New York Regent’s prayer] unconstitutional, the Supreme Court of the United States severs the connecting cord between the public schools of the United States and the source of divine intelligence, the Creator himself…. Now let us remember and emphasize—that restriction applies to the atheist as well as to the believer in God.”3

In the early 1960’s, LDS Church President David O. McKay (left), and University of Chicago Law School Professor Dallin H. Oaks (right), held different perspectives about the Supreme Court’s controversial ruling that banned state sponsored prayer in public schools. Years later, Elder Oaks wrote in his personal memoirs that his limited perspective at the time was “just a small footnote to history compared with the vision of a prophet who saw and described the pernicious effects of that decision in the years to come.”

At the same time, a bright young lawyer named Dallin Oaks—a devout Mormon and former law clerk for Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren—had just been appointed professor of law at the University of Chicago Law School, one of the nation’s most prestigious law schools. In his personal memoirs, Life’s Lessons Learned, Elder Oaks reflected openly and candidly about his feelings at the time: “I reasoned that the [school prayer] case was correctly decided,” because “I interpreted the school prayer decision to forbid only state-authored and state-required prayers, rather than forbidding school prayers altogether.”4 Indeed, what could be the harm? After all, there was no prohibition of private student-led prayer at school.

A few months later, in the next domino to fall in what would be a series of so-called “separation of church and state”5 rulings, the Supreme Court prohibited school-sponsored bible reading.6 President McKay’s response this time was even more emphatic: “Recent rulings of the Supreme Court would have all reference to a Creator eliminated from our public schools and public offices…. Evidently the Supreme Court misinterprets the true meaning of the First Amendment, and are now leading a Christian nation down the road to atheism.”7

…

Cottage Meetings, My Husband and our First Freedoms: William’s Warning

December 5, 2013 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

Yesterday, the day before Hawaii became the 15th state to permit gay marriage, Grant was asked to speak at a cottage meeting about the culture war and the attacks on our first freedom. He was amazing. I am grateful to be married to a man who has such strong convictions yet so much compassion (a balance not easily obtained). I know I need to formulate my own approach to discussing the issues of our day, especially this one that is threatening our very right to worship God. I just wish I were better at speaking. I’m sure part of it comes with research, (first seek ye to obtain my word) but why do I get so weak-kneed, why does my heart beat so fast I feel like it is about to burst whenever I have to say anything in front of anyone? I do not doubt that some things get easier with practice…I just can’t help but feel like I hope I never have to practice that much! In the meantime I need to read, research and write down how I feel about this topic that will effect us all so much. Until then, I will post this wonderful clip from the LDS church. Scroll down until you get the one called “What Is Religious Freedom”.

Apparently William is also thinking of heavy things. Recently he left this note on Sam’s pillow:

It says, “In 1947 the battle ended on 4105. In 2 days there will be a big war between China and America. So duck and run.” Boy oh boy do I wish I could see what this looks like in his head.

Couples Rule!

August 20, 2013 by candicebeckwith Leave a Comment

On Saturday Grant and I did a triathlon together with Rebecca. Despite being stronger, faster and in better shape, Grant stuck with me the whole time. Including swimming in an all women heat when he could have been in the first heat of the race. We were one of only a few (maybe three) couples who raced together the whole time. In every part of the race we heard shouts of encouragement and cheers for our husband and wife team. At one point during the running portion we passed another couple racing together who cheered us saying, “COUPLES RULE!!!”

I could say a lot about the state of our society and the scarcity of traditional happy couples who stick together through thick and thin. Instead I will cheer my husband who sticks by my side in every leg of the race of life even if I am figuratively and literally weaker, slower and in worse shape. Together we can truly do anything!