Anna said, “I have a picture of Jesus in my room. It is the picture of Jesus praying. Jesus is praying for me in my room.”
Cottage Meetings, My Husband and our First Freedoms: William’s Warning
Yesterday, the day before Hawaii became the 15th state to permit gay marriage, Grant was asked to speak at a cottage meeting about the culture war and the attacks on our first freedom. He was amazing. I am grateful to be married to a man who has such strong convictions yet so much compassion (a balance not easily obtained). I know I need to formulate my own approach to discussing the issues of our day, especially this one that is threatening our very right to worship God. I just wish I were better at speaking. I’m sure part of it comes with research, (first seek ye to obtain my word) but why do I get so weak-kneed, why does my heart beat so fast I feel like it is about to burst whenever I have to say anything in front of anyone? I do not doubt that some things get easier with practice…I just can’t help but feel like I hope I never have to practice that much! In the meantime I need to read, research and write down how I feel about this topic that will effect us all so much. Until then, I will post this wonderful clip from the LDS church. Scroll down until you get the one called “What Is Religious Freedom”.
Apparently William is also thinking of heavy things. Recently he left this note on Sam’s pillow:
It says, “In 1947 the battle ended on 4105. In 2 days there will be a big war between China and America. So duck and run.” Boy oh boy do I wish I could see what this looks like in his head.
Halloween
Four years ago today Sam was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He was scheduled to be baptized a month earlier but woke up vomiting on the day of his baptism. And so on Halloween Day he was baptized. Before his baptism he had planned on dressing up as Calvin from “Calvin and Hobbes”, but after he decided that he didn’t want to be something bad so he was a lumberjack instead.
Today Grant and I took Sam to the temple for the first time to do proxy baptisms. I loved seeing him there and his excitement to be there. I was excited for him that he could feel the spirit of serving in the house of the Lord. I love that he goes to school right across the street from the temple and now he can join many of the other 7th graders that go together after school!
Tending Roses
I recently read a beautiful book called “Tending Roses” by Lisa Wingate. In it a grandmother is writing to her granddaughter. This is one of her letters:
“An old woman told me she wanted the gardens cleaned around her house, and if I would do the work I might have flower bulbs and starts of roses as my pay. My husband pretended to think the idea rather foolish as I was needed on the farm, but he was patient with me as I worked throught the early spring, cleaning gardens and moving starts to a newly tilled bed by our farmhouse. He was older than I, and I think he understood that I needed something of my own.
Those roses were the finest things I had been given in my life, and I tended them carefully all spring. As the days lengthened, the roses grew well and blossomed in the summer heat, as did I. Coming in and out of the house, I would look at them — something that belonged to me, growing in soil that belonged to him.
Even passing folk admired my roses, for my work made the blooms large and full. Once, a poor hired lady came with a bouquet of roses and wildflowers clasped in her hands. She told me that her children had sneaked into my garden and picked them for her, and that they would be punished. I bade her not to scold the children, for I was proud to give them this gift. She smiled, and thanked me, and told me that, with so many children, she had no time for tending roses.
I did not understand her words until my own children were born. When the first was a babe, I took her outside and let her play in an empty wash barrel so I could have time for tending my roses. I was often cross with her cries while I was at my work. As she grew, and as my second child was born, I understood what the hired lady had told me — that motherhood leaves no time for selfish pleasures. Only time for tending others.
My roses grew wild and died as I busied myself with feeding and diapering, nursery rhymes and sickbeds. I missed those bright blooms that had been mine and felt it unfair that I must leave my hard work there to die. But I did not think of it overmuch. My mind and heart were occupied with the sorrows and joys of motherhood.
The day came, it seemed in no time, when my children were grown and gone, and I again found time to tend the roses. I could labor over them from dawn until dusk with no children to feed, no husband needing meals, and few passerby on the old road. My flowers have come thick and full and beautiful again. From time to time, I see neighbor children come to pick them when I am silent in my house. I close my eyes and listen to their laughter, and I think that the best times of my life, the times that passed by me the most quickly, were the times when the roses grew wild.”
Ode To Sam
Today Sam played with the Utah Valley Symphony at the Covey Center for the Arts. It was such a joy to watch. He was so poised and competent. Too bad I was using an I-pad to film it and had a bit of a shaky hand, not to mention Anna dropping her plastic horses on the floor at the same time!
So while we are on the subject of Sam, I will now take the time to do his Birthday tribute (first time not in my journal) – not quite a month late!
Sam Is Twelve!
Journal entry from 18 September 2001: “OUR BOY IS BORN! He was born at 2:14 pm. He is an angel. I am smitten. I love him so much. I love his father more than ever. I can no longer imagine our life without him (Sam). I feel as if I have always known him.”
Our first snuggle
A month later (twelve years ago this week) I wrote: “Sammy really enjoys walks. He looks around wide-eyed for a little while and then he falls asleep and sleeps very soundly. (I’ve considered a walk as a way to put him to sleep during the nights.) He is actually quite easy during the night- no fussing, really he just wants to eat, have his diaper changed and a little snuggle time. We mostly sleep the night away in the reclining chair in his room but Grant and I are trying to get him to sleep more in his crib. He hasn’t much liked it in the past.
He has very large, beautiful deep blue eyes which could change of course (the color, not the largeness). One of the things I love most about him is his eyes. I love how when I am holding him he seems to gaze into my heart as his eyes lock onto mine. He spends so much time looking up at me it endears me to him more and more with every glance.”
Now, what is Sam (no longer Sammy) like at 12? He still has a depth of soul and understanding that surprises me all of the time. He is a good balance of fun and zest for life and soberness. He is trying to learn when the appropriate times for sobriety and zealousness are. He received the Aaronic Priesthood on September 28th and it has been wonderful to see him settling into his priesthood responsibilities with devotion and joy.
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Family Pictures Today
The red shoes were a must for Anna. The canyon was stunning. Rebecca was patient and kind to take pictures. The children were reluctantly cooperative. (Except for Lizzie and Anna who quite enjoyed it.)
And now the photos that wont make it into the Christmas card:
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These Kids Have Done Hard Things
With two weeks to practice (about 2 hours each day) Sam prepared a song two levels more difficult than where he is in his Suzuki curriculum and auditioned for a young artists group concerto. This is the website for the Utah Valley Symphony with whom he will be playing.
Then, a week later both Sam and Lizzie auditioned for the next level up in their Orchestra. Lizzie also had to prepare and perform a piece more difficult than she is used to. After much practicing they both made it!
William is now practicing his piano and violin because he loves it. I think this is a great accomplishment as well. He has discovered that he is very good at playing songs by ear and has worked out Micheal Jackson’s “Will You Be There” and “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” on both instruments.
I love seeing these children succeed when they work hard!
Future Runaway Bride?
Bethany sent me a letter this week with a picture inside from her wedding. After the first few stressful, exhausting days of school I really needed a good laugh. The included picture gave me exactly what I needed. Anna also had a hearty laugh about herself!
Making Changes
I’m not making chocolate chip pancakes anymore. This is how William ate his this time.
Taking Care of the Little Mother
Our children know their parents love each other. We have a tradition that when we are watching a movie together as a family and there is a kissing scene, Grant and I get to give each other a kiss. The children react with varying degrees of delight and disgust.
Today I was snuggling on the couch with Grant and William came in, observed us snuggling and said with a happy smile, “It is so fun seeing the dad take care of the little mother.”
Also today I subbed in Sam’s primary class. I had forgotten that I was to teach his class and so was in somewhat of a panic. Sam was so kind and good to me. He took it upon himself to reassure me and help in anyway possible. The lesson was on the story of Samuel and on listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I barely knew the story of Samuel, just a few basic details so while I was hurriedly perusing the chapters in the Bible I asked, “Does anyone want to tell the story of Samuel?” Sam volunteered and proceeded to tell the WHOLE story! He had learned it in school! In fact, he had done a two page biblical biography on Samuel. He was able to share so many details as well as the spirit of the story. I felt overcome with gratitude for a son who is so spiritually sensitive. Thanks for bailing me out Sam!